Couple? Not For Me, Thanks! (in Manglish)

"Mungkin dia perlukan perhatian," Kasihan by Hujan.

Since this seems like THE topic right now, I have been drawn to share my views/ reasons/ arguments/ whatevers for not couple-ing (that's having a girlfriend, for all you non-Manglish speakers).

Disclaimer: I have had the experience of having a girlfriend before this (two experiences, to be exact), so I know why people do it too (ecewaaaaah, expert abes ayat beliau!). Oh, and this post will be in Manglish too. (Sorry non-Manglish speakers!)

Reason #1: Berdossaaa..

The reasons that I have been reading all along. All I agree with. There are several blogposts about this that say it better than I ever could, but the most concise (i guess) would be this one --> Click here. Check it out.

Reason #2: Loss of Freedom

Sure, memang bes bila ada orang tanya pasai kita tiap-tiap hari. Sikit-sikit, "Dah makan belum?" Sikit-sikit, "Dah mandi belum?" Sikit-sikit, "Dah berak belum?"

taken from smallbiztrends.com

Tapi lama-lama naik rimas gak woh. Bila dah siap buat satu benda ja kena bagi report, kalau tak kena merajuk sedas. Bila tak reti nak pujuk awek, tambah-merajuk beliau pasai kita tak pandai nak pujuk. Last-last skali kena label "tak reti nak pujuk orang".

Jadi hidup akan jadi soo dependent on our phones. Kena text them, like, 24/7 kot. Nak buat kerja pun payah. Kalau lambat reply, kena lagi merajuk. Mau tak letih? Bila busy sikit, kena merajuk lagi. Nak bersembang rancak ngan member-member pun jadi payah. Pasaipa? Pasai time dok sembang-sembang, nak kena stop sat, reply message dulu. Kawan kita dok cakap, kita tak pay attention kat dia, then kata "hah?" Kawan kita pun naik bengkek ngan kita.

Tapi, on the other hand, kalau ignore the phone, then akan dapat lagi message daripada "si dia", yang akan berbaur "hello?", "U there?", ataupun miscall trus. Then, this happens:

Si dia: pasaipa lambat reply?

Kita: sembang ngan kawan.

Si dia: Oh, kawan... (which of course means "So kawan hang lagi important dari aku la?? Kononnya special la aku?? Kawan boleh dicari, tapi aku mana hang nak jumpak???")

Kita: Sorry.

Si dia: *merajuk, tak reply.

And the whole sha-bang lah after that. The fight scene that ensues I'll leave to your colourful imaginations jalah.

So, memang tak free man. Kena menjawab ALL THE TIME. Baik clash and stay single. Tak payah risau nak report kat siapa-siapa.

Reason #3: Habis duit.

Seriously, if you have a girlfriend, your wallet is not safe. Or rather, the money inside it. It's not that the girl will ask for the money or presents or whatever. It's usually our own innate desire to be so-called "romantic" to get them stuff. Pantang nampak bear cute atau cincin stai skit, kita terbayang-bayang si dia, so kita pun beli la, bagi kat dia bila jumpak.

taken from t0.gstatic.com

Ha, bila jumpak tu pun satu lagi hal. Kita ni kena la jadi gentleman konon kan? Kena la spend duit nak belanja dia ini itu. Mana boleh split the bill beb. Tak gentle ah. Kita kena belanja. Memang at the time kita tak perasan pun duit kita habis. Kita terlalu taksub nak make that person happy and make it seem like we're the perfect boyfriend, that everything that we spend is considered small change compared to what we get in return, and that's "true love". Bleagh~ I can't believe I was that kind of person. Astaghfirullahal'aziim.

Then not to mention the incessant amount of money that needs to be spent on prepaid. You have to text this person every 3 minutes, for the whole time that you're awake (let's just put it at 15 hours). After doing the math, (what?? Anak Pak Man does math??) I have discovered that if you send a text message every 3 minutes for 15 hours, you would have sent 500 texts to just ONE PERSON in a day. That's like RM5 (if one text was one sen). So an RM10 prepaid card would only last you 2 days! Gosh, even I'm astonished with this piece of information.

What do you get in return for your heavy investments? So-called "pure love" from someone who is not even your wife and you can't do stuff to her that you can do to your wife, and nothing else. Now tell me, is that rational?

Reason #4: You Lose Friends

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit. Just because you have a girlfriend doesn't mean you lose friends automatically. But you do lose the time you can spend with your friends. Think about it.

taken from ih3.redbubble.net

Friend: Jom p tengok movie?

Kita: Oh, taleh ah bro, aku nak keluaq ngan awek satgi.

Friend: Oh, okay then.

Friend: Jom p mandi sungai?

Kita: Oh, taleh ah bro, aku janji nak breakfast ngan awek aku.

Friend: Hmm.

Friend: Jom mandi hujan?

Kita: Oh, taleh ah bro, awek aku kata bahaya, dia tamaw aku demam nanti.

Friend: What the foo??

Seriously, when your life revolves around your awek, everything else just drifts away. Family, friends, you bet.

So I have my reasons. I can spend my feelings, time and money on things that really matter, that are friends and family. Plus, I don't need to have a girlfriend to be in love. I'm already in love right now, and that love has brought and will bring me closer to Allah. And that's the only love I need.

Akhir kata, takkan kau rasai indahnya cinta; andai tiada cinta buat Yang Esa. (You won't feel the beauty of love if you don't feel love towards the One)

Cheers!