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Sunday, June 2, 2013

Fictional Character 1.2

"Lelaki, tak guuuuuuuna," Lelaki by Yuna.

He had a love interest. He knew that it was love, not just another crush. He's had hundreds of crushes. Crushes come and go. They're a fantasy, he says. An impossibly perfect version of what the person in question might be, without one ever getting to know the person. And by the simple logic of "if it's not this, then it must be that other thing," he has deduced it to be true, bona fide, pure love. 

She wasn't supermodel material, he knew that, but she was still the most beautiful person he has ever set eyes on. Many of his friends and even his family disagree, but he's pretty adamant on this. Ever since she came into his life, it's like girls the world over conspired against him to turn themselves ten times less attractive. But it's not just that she was beautiful to his eyes. She was one of the people whom he felt most in-sync with. She would complete his sentences and he hers, and he would think about a question and she would answer him without him ever asking out loud. They had similar (enough) interests. If they weren't already interested in the same thing, it would take very little effort for him to like what she liked and vice versa. They completed each other. He  hated waking up early, she loves it. She needs to get to bed early, he does whatever he can to avoid early bedtimes. Their existence in each others' lives helps them lead healthy lives. He had a feeling that they were made for each other. No other person could make him feel as miserable or as happy as her. She was the highlight of his day. Highlight of his life. It had to be love.

But (there's always a but, isn't there?) he couldn't help but feel that she's too good for him. There he was, as average and plain as a human being can be, with no particular talents, of average attractiveness, introverted and passive. And there she was, the most talented person he had ever met, beautiful, like, crazy beautiful, outspoken, intelligent, kind-hearted, lovable, all that good stuff. How could he ever hope to keep her to himself? How could someone ten times more attractive, smart, funny and talented not be able to spot a gem that was her and take her away from him? He knew that he was no contest to any actually worthy guys out there. He was a loser. Nothing. She was destined for greatness. Not nothing.

And so everyday he lives his life being miserably happy. Happy that he has the treasure that is her. Miserable that he knows, KNOWS that he won't be able to keep her. Not when there's a Joseph Gordon-Levitt or a Redza Minhat out there to pry her away from him with ease.  He's just too pathetic to compete. He is unworthy. 

8 comments:

FS*RawkS* said...

Please write more Fictional Character? I enjoy reading them :)Makes me want to start writing. Insha Allah.

Anis Zafeerah said...

and they say ' We accept the love we think we deserve' though we can never love it that much

Syafinaz Alizaini said...

"miserably happy" is just pathetic.
Poor boy for having such thought..

almostawesomecheese said...

It could be destructive when one consider oneself unworthy. But hey, this character can develop! An epilogue would be great

Nani said...

"miserably happy" is an oxymoron
wouldnt want to feel that way =(

petite girl said...

Love fades, unfortunately. Marriage does not mean anything.

Belle . said...

i have a friend, exactly like that. hmm

anak pak man said...

FS*Rawks*,
Will try, but no promises. Glad you like them. :)

Anis Zafirah,
Something to ponder.

Syafinaz,
Poor boy indeed.

almostawesomecheese,
yeah, that'll take some work. :)

Nani,
Horrible feeling it is.

Petite Girl,
How bleak a view. :(

Belle,
Kem salam! :D