First Time Husband Thoughts

So I’m a husband now. That’s a thing.

With it has entailed a few things. Right off the top of my head, we’ve moved into an apartment together. It’s been a new experience, with both of us adjusting to each other’s constant presence around each others’ spaces and managing the house, but it’s been good. I’ve always known that I’m an incompetent home manager, so I am more than happy to let her take the reigns and whip the apartment into shape, and do that she has.

Like I said in the previous post, I’ve always felt that our marriage was inevitable ever since we really got to know each other, and living together is just a natural progression of that, so I’m not weirded out so much by us being around each other as soon as we wake up until as soon as we fall asleep. I remember to keep being grateful for it, because we never know what the future holds.

The other day I was driving back to the apartment from getting some stuff from Tesco, and the wife was in the car with me and she fell asleep. I looked over to her and remember thinking to myself “so this is what it feels like to have another half physically here with you.” Since our relationship had always been long distance, this was the most time we had ever spent with each other being this close to each other for this long a time, and it’s certainly the first time we’ve lived together here in Penang, so it’s definitely a change from what I’ve always been used to, which was going wherever I wanted when I wanted for however long as I wanted. 

Now that I have a physical other half to take care of, I have to take her into consideration when making decisions about where I’m going to be, when I’m going to be there and for how long I’m going to be there. It’s definitely a change of pace, but I also a natural progression as well. It is my choice to share the rest of my life with this person, and I’m happy to make the changes necessary to make it work.

I suppose why I’m cool with this arrangement is because I married my best friend. We enjoy each others’ company very much, in conversations, in arguments and even in silence. It’s always comforting to have her around, to know that she’ll be there for me whenever I need her, and I hope to always be there when she needs me. We both realise that for us to work, we have to communicate really well with each other, so we’re both working towards communicating effectively with one another. 

It can sometimes get tough, but we both want to make this work, so we’ll compromise when we have to for the greater good. I have a lot more to learn about her and she about me, and we’re both growing and changing every day. I just pray that we’ll be able to grow well together and be able to be each others’ support system. 

Yesterday, she referred to us as a family. I laughed, not because it was funny, but because I just wasn’t used to it. What she said was true though. We’re now a family of our own. I had always had my parents and brothers in what came to mind when the word family was raised, but now there’s an addition to that picture, and I’ll get used to it, sooner or later. Us both are now our own little family unit that needs to navigate life together, for better or for worse. I just hope that through it all, we’ll be holding each others’ hands.