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Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Last Malaysian Exam (for two years)

"Rinduku masih kau tak peka," Bila Nak Saksi by Spider.

Yes, hopefully the exams that have just passed will be my last time sitting for Malaysian exams for another two years. I don't feel like recapping the exams. I would rather reflect.

Boy, were they hard, I tells ya. But then again, the two subjects (Learning & the Learner and English Language teaching Methodology) were two subjects that I didn't like very much. It wasn't because of the subjects themselves. I think it's more because of the way they were taught.

Sure, I'm not a certified teacher yet, so what I think carries very little weight now, but don't you think that before you produce good teachers, you have to be a good teacher first? Sure, you can say "a good teacher does this, this, and this" but if you don't portray it in your teaching, then we feel like you're being some sort of a hypocrite, not practicing what you preach. And you expect us to pay attention to you and take what you say seriously? I'm sorry, but that's just hard for me to do.

And I'm weak. I know I should be saying "What does that have to do with your progress as a good teacher? If you want to learn, then learn. You don't need to depend on the teacher to give you everything," and I do say it to myself, sometimes. I know I should be intrinsically motivated, and there are even a lot of extrinsic motivation coming from incentives, other lecturers and such. But as I admitted, I have come to realise that I'm weak. I depend way too highly on the teacher teaching the subject for me to be interested in the subject.

Take Classroom Management, for example. I love CM. And I think that Madam M is highly responsible for making me feel this way. Same goes with English Studies and Social Studies (during foundations). I loved those subjects mostly because I loved the way the lecturers taught them. They were definitely inspiring, and I've grown to love literature and social issues because of them.

I remember saying to Hystrix in class,

"Throughout this subject, we've never had even a single meaningful discussion session in ELT. Thus, ELT is meaningless to me."

It surely is a bad thing to say, but it's the truth. I go through each ELT class counting the minutes for it to end, and sadly enough, the teacher has done nothing to rectify this lack of interest problem.

Thus, I feel that as a teacher, I am highly responsible for making my students interested in what I'm teaching. I have to be interesting. I have to grab attention. I have to give meaning to what I teach. I need to instill a sense of love towards me for them to love what I teach, what I say and what I do. Only then will they love learning. Only then will they be intrinsically motivated to learn. Only then will they love knowledge. I hold a lot of power, as a teacher. And with that power comes great responsibility.

Who says teaching is an easy job?

Oh man, this has turned out to be a reflection fit to send in as an assignment. Ugh, how I dislike the formality.

But this is from my heart. It may sound cliche, but at this moment, it is what I truly feel about education and teachers.

Ya Allah, give me the strength to be a better man. A better teacher. Amiin~

Cheers!

12 comments:

mademoiselle tq said...

amin.. :)

"great power comes with great responsibilities"

totally agreed!

tip top you say it's me said...

btol3..
xsangka ade gak org rse ape yg natrah rse..
ish3.. sem ni la yg plg byk probs ngan lecturers..
sedeyh sgt2..

kacipcrew said...

lol.. that's what we all realized after we entered the college.. studying to be just a primary school teacher is really tough -_-"

EL90 said...

i likeee!! akhirnya ada voice yg brani bersuara bg pihak kami smua... XD

anak pak man said...

TQ,
Terima kasih kerana mengaminkan do'a tersebut..
thanks!

Natrah,
Rasanya bukan Natrah n saya ja yang rasa ni.. huhu, itulah..
thanks for stopping by!

PD,
Definitely tough.. "just a primary school teacher".. haha

Azie,
Tp lam bouquet for a friend tu tiada pulak yg menulis "brave" kat aku.. hehe

wOrLdOfsEcReTwHisPerEr said...

hoyeah..dats ryte yo!
cara pngajaran yang x mnrik
minat kita, huhuhu..
bosan3!klas elt tu
mmg rsa cm maen2 ja..
masuk klas dgr lecture
pot pet pot pet.
chair!!n bla3...
huhuhu..
pastu kuar makan kat recsam
suka suki after dat, haha..
balik blik nak rvise?pnyaa

=p

anak pak man said...

wawaa,
Wah, luahan perasaan disini nampak? Sila post di blog sendiri ye cik adik? hehe

phyto hystrix said...

slm,

Anda,it seems like years ago since I last dropped a comment kan. I'm sorry. But yeah,I complained about the same issue of having too little of interest as well as motivation to keep on focusing in the class. Really,the classes lacked a sense of liveliness. The screeching sounds from the chairs were distractions, but not as much as another thing was. Ya know. :) It distracts my mood, too much of it. But I love Juwe's way of handling it, and yours, and mine, and everyone's. Cause we managed to handle the pressure. I guess it's our will. In many senses, we're really transforming into better learners. May these daily situations continue to be our source of putting theories into practice. InsyaAllah. :)

anak pak man said...

Hystrix,
Wslm..
Eh, how did Juwe handle it? I know how I handled it.. hehe..
Yeah, I can definitely sense the change. Great feeling.
InsyaAllah. =)

mademoiselle tq said...

your welcome.. and do pray for the other teacher trainees too :)

i remembered that right after the ELT paper finished, someone screeched his/her chair, and that really reminded me to the saying: "the chair, the chair".. ehem2.. hehehe xD

Igniz said...

and that's why i prefered to study alone in my room, and would only seek for explanations when understanding slipped right out of my mind.

i didn't really learn much in the classrooms, I couldn't concentrate when there were too many voices and stuff, but my attendance was A-okay nevertheless.

and I'm not saying that teachers aren't important, but for people like me, I prefer self-learning first, only then the classrooms will follow. i'm both intra & inter, but the former always comes first.

but for people of your type, yes, I agree. a teacher should always find a way to make the class interesting.

a great teacher inspires, right? good luck. :)

anak pak man said...

TQ,
That somebody was ME.. hahaha
I'll do that.. InsyaAllah..

Sir Igniz,
That's great, to be able to study no matter what the teacher is like.. Unfortunately, my innate desire to learn is currently too dependent on the teacher.. Need to change that, I know..
But I guess I'm the opposite from you when it comes to studying. I love talking about it as well as listening and responding to views. I suppose that's my learning style. Because being in front of a textbook, that makes my eyes heavy.This doesn't happen when I read novels however, and that makes me wonder..
Yeah, I suppose great teachers do..
Thanks for the comment! =)