So today was a particularly free day for me, and I don't have much to show for it. I spent a lot of it watching Youtube videos. I also wrote a new song which I dislike, so I don't think it'll make it out of Garageband. The song isn't a rap song, because I've been listening to a lot of rock lately and am reminded of how much I love the genre and how much I desire to make rock-sounding songs.
A struggle that I've found from trying to write these more rock-sounding songs is in finding what to talk about in the songs. I don't want the song topic to be clichéd, so I thought I'd just talk about everyday life, and it's tough to sing about everyday life without it coming off as mundane and uninteresting to me. So I ended up writing about everyday mental struggles, and the way I wrote it sounds rather melodramatic. I guess I'm having some trouble owning up to my melodrama and think that I should try to write about something better.
Then before dinner I went to a nearby MPH bookstore to get some books that I shall review throughout 2017. I bought three books in total. The titles are Gantung, Alif Lam Lam Ha and Anarkis. They're from three different publishers, two of them are fictions and one (Alif Lam Lam Ha) is non-fiction. Added to that shall be three books I already have, which are Sekolah Bernama Kehidupan (fiction), Brave New World (non-fiction) as well as Young and Malay (a non-fiction which I'm currently in the middle of reading). Maybe after writing this post I'll go ahead and type out the script for that video.
I made it a point to have three fictions and three non-fictions. I wish not all three of the non-fictions were essay compilations, but as I've found from that MPH, it's tough to find Malay works of non-fiction that aren't about making money or religion-related, two types of books that I have a disdain for. Not because I don't believe these books don't have value, but because more often than not, they come off as preachy and are instructive, and I hold a general distaste for things/people that tell me what to do, a character flaw that I am open to admitting.
Just because I'm at a loss about what else to write, I'll rewrite the lyrics to the song I made today below.
Here's to sucking at stuff so that you may improve.
Opposite the steering wheel
we're having a staring contest.
I inevitably lose and
make my way inside my mind.
I never remember to bring
any matches. So the dark is familiar.
I walk into its arms and
sit until I fall asleep.
Oh, what joy it is to be uninformed
of the pain and suffering.
My eyes crack open. It's revealed
that my ceiling's full of cobwebs.
Too many dirty clothes occupy
my sleeping surface.
Again and again I refresh my feed
for a glimpse inside your thought;
so that I don't have to pay any
attention to my own.
How I miss the bliss of ignorance granted me.
Now I just wait to go.