Malaih

Truth be told, aku sebenaqnya malaih gila nak tuleh lani. I don't really feel like writing anything at all. What I would like to do is finish watching the movie I paused on Youtube two seconds ago and then go right to sleep for the day ahead. Today has been a tiring day. These past few days have been tolling ones, actually. And all I want to do is sleep for days on end.

It's not that I don't have anything to write about. I could just go into my twitter drafts where I put blogpost ideas, pick one and write about this that or the other. Instead, I'm writing about how much I don't write to be writing right now. Why is that?

It becomes a question of want. What do I really want? Do I really want to sleep all day? Do I really want to finish watching the movie? Do I really want to look for those leaked Game of Thrones episodes? I would say, yes. I do really want all those things, and a bag of chips (90s reference!)

But why am I writing instead? Because I want this more. Because writing takes precedence. Because becoming a better writer comes first. Because I need to improve as a writer by practicing and practicing and practicing and practicing, and this is me practicing.

Writing is tough man. It may come so very easy to people who seem to be able to type out paragraphs and paragraphs as a mere facebook status, and make a couple of those a day, but it's tough for me man. It takes a lot out of me. It forces me to think, so much, and by the end of it I'm usually exhausted.

But where do my priorities lie? Right now, they lie in me pushing myself to write more in order to become a better writer. This piece right now is sucky kot, but I do it anyway, I type it anyway, and I'll publish it anyway, as a stepping stone towards that ten thousand hour mark as well as proof to myself that I've been in terrible conditions, yet still persist on the things that are important to me. I do have it within me to keep moving forward, or at the very least, try.