Pre-19 Epiphany

“Top marks for not trying,” Brianstorm by Arctic Monkeys.

In the car upon fetching “Me” from the bus station.

Bapak : We’re telling you all this because it won’t be long anymore.

Me : *Grinning idiotically*

Bapak : In just two more days, you’ll be 19. Not long after that, it’ll be time for you to get settled.

Me : *Still grinning and chuckling*

Bapak : It seems just like yesterday we were sending you to the hospital in Penang when you broke your wrist at Taiping. It seems just like yesterday we were sending you off to George Street Normal School where we’d meet Mrs. Probert who’d say “ANWWAARR!!” Hahaha.

Me : Hehe. Yeah.. *Notices mom in the passenger seat through the side view mirror wiping tears off her face* *Holds back own tears* *Stops grinning*

This happened quite recently. Now I understand why my parents want me to come back home as often as possible. While I’m still quite near them (Penang), I should go visit them frequently, because I’m their eldest son, and I’ve lived with them the longest among all my other brothers. Among the 4 children that they have, I’m the one who’s been with them the longest time, so of course they miss me a lot when I’m suddenly not there anymore. That’s why they scold me when I refuse to go back home. That’s why they get upset when I have activities that prevent me from going back home during the weekends.

And all this while I’m still here. When I get to go off to Australia (InsyaAllah), I won’t be seeing them for 2 years straight, unless they decide to go fly over there to come visit me. I can’t imagine how that’d be like for them. And now that I’ve had this epiphany of sorts, I can’t imagine how it’d be like for me either. I think I’d miss ‘em like crazy too.

And when I start working, would I be fortunate enough to be posted near enough to them, so that I could go visit them every other weekend, if not every weekend? Or would I be posted somewhere far away, like in East Malaysia, which would mean me seeing them once every two or three months, at most?

And so, dear readers, please treasure your parents, because to them, even treasures of Midas proportions couldn’t replace your place in their hearts. They have raised you to become the person you are today, and if it were not for them, you wouldn’t be reading this post on your computer screens right now. You might not even be fortunate enough to have a computer screen to look at if it weren’t for them, as in my case.

Was it not them who have fed you your entire life without asking a single cent in return? Wasn’t it them who gave you so many clothes to wear since you were a child without starting a tab for you so that you could pay them back when you’re old enough? And was it not them too who put you through school and paid all your school fees, bought your books, woke you up in the mornings, gave you an earful when you didn’t perform in your studies, and were proud of you when you finally entered Tertiary education?

All these acts of love should be valued to the highest degree, and no matter what we do, and how much we do, we can never fully repay our debt towards them. It’s just too big an ask for mere mortals like us. As the Malays say, “Hutang emas boleh dibayar, hutang budi dibawa mati..” (A debt of gold is repayable, but a debt of deeds is brought into the grave).

(Notice: I’m fighting back tears while writing this.)