"Bro, aku pi hantaq petikan buku tu kat ex aku. Of all the things yang dia boleh cakap, dia kata:
Awak bile awak banyak berfikir, perkara ni akan timbul persoalan, dan bile tak dapat solve, soalan lain pulak akan timbul, dan seterusnye. Kite muhasabah diri. Bile awak asyik berfikir bende ni, sampai bile nak habis? Saye faham tu semue, tapi saye takleh nak describe and tak tahu macam mane nak cakap. Hati saye sakit sangat. Saye rase saye lelaki yang dayus bile saye sendiri takleh nak cube ubah ape-ape pade awak. Yang saye rase cume lelaki bodoh. Tapi dah tu hak awak dan awak berkeras dengan ape yang awak nak. Tu pade hati awak sendiri untuk berubah.
I told him that I didn't want to change him. Yet, he still talks about changing me. Help me give a punch to his face, please? Sigh. One part of me kata memang patut pun aku break up dengan dia. Another part kata .. jahat sangat ka aku ni?"
"Ada orang panggil benda tu keras kepala. Ada orang panggil benda tu berprinsip. Ikut atas orang nak tengok macam mana. The way I see it, thinking constantly has become part of your character, your identity. Denying that – or trying to change it – would be denying you as a person terus. Not that I'm saying that change is a bad thing. But imposing your will on others, in this case, making other people change their identity because they don't feel comfortable with it, then that's not positive at all. It's wanting a person to do something they don't want to do, or are incapable of doing. Macam asking a fish to stop swimming. Tak syok ah macam tu."
"I guess. Macam Hlovate kata: I don't say 'take a bite from my plate, chew, telan, then talk' for no reason. Aku mungkin justify tindakan aku as prinsip and nampak dia sebagai keras kepala. And vice versa for him."
"Yeah, the issue is perselisihan pandangan, essentially. Thing about it is, takdak masalah apa pun kalau we find out that we're uncomfortable with the way someone is. Kalau tak suka sangat, jauhkan diri ajalah. No need for animosity. All that's required is the acceptance of the fact that you weren't made for each other, and then moving on with your lives."
"Aku move on, sebab aku dah tak rasa terkilan apa-apa. I've tried my best untuk cari titik persamaan tu, tapi tak jumpak jugak. So I'm kinda happy ja sebenaqnya. Cuma petikan daripada buku tu ajalah that caused an uproar. Haha."
"Indeed it did."
"Hm. Benda yang kita percaya ni bukan terlalu idealistik kan? Possible ja kan untuk capai level of understanding yang macam tu?"
"I think so."
"Aku risau sebab being this idealistic person, kadang-kadang aku takut aku terlalu positive and tak sedar hakikat dunia yang terlalu disgusting. Tapi, at the same time, aku rasa, salah ka ka nak have faith in humanity?"
"It is possible, but it takes time, and it takes trust. Tapi dalam manoeuvring the world ni kita kena set benda-benda yang kita tak akan tolerate. Limits, so to speak. Contohnya, I won't tolerate orang yang anggap perempuan ni ialah inferior to men dan hanya layak dijadikan objek seks semata-mata. An extrem example, but still an example lah. And dalam hal ex hang ni, thing about him is that he isn't willing to grow and be more mature when it comes to matters of the mind. Aku takkan kisah kalau dia sekadar classmate aku ka, jiran ka apa. Tapi sebagai pasangan hidup, takleh. Aku ada my own set of standards, and – after acknowledging that nobody is perfect, first and foremost – aku hanya akan marry to a person that will, at the end of the day, make me feel good berdamping dengannya, and help me become a better person. Realitinya, manusia yang macam tu wujud ja dalam dunia ni. It's not idealist to accept the fact that they exist. Realist ja, sebenaqnya. Cuma realitinya ialah orang macam tu, orang macam the ones we look up to, tak ramai. Dalam Malaysia lagi al jarang aku jumpak. Tapi ada ja. People, for the most part, do suck. But it;s a question of why you're going to keep on holding on to and working towards what you believe in. Selagi that why is strong, you'll be heading in a positive direction."
"Wah, kita memang kalau bab sembang ni kencang ja noh? Haha!"
"Taw takpa! Haha!"
"Well, to respond, the reason kenapa aku nak percaya ada orang yang se-level pemikiran macam tu lagi ialah sebab aku nak jadi manusia yang better. Kalau aku nak baiki diri, aku kena duduk dalam environment yang positive. Then aku boleh bantu orang untuk cuba tengok dunia dari pandangan yang positive jugak. Aku tak suka dunia yang pernah aku rasa. Nak create dunia baru. Tapi aku sedaq, bukan senang. So I need to think of the small steps. And finding a great husband and building a great family is one of those steps. Hahaha!"
"That's a very positive thing to hold on to. I hope you find that great husband and are able to create that great family with him."
No comments:
Post a Comment