"I saw that day, I lost my mind," El Mañana by Gorillaz.
So last Friday was the last of class for us in the B. Ed. TESOL course here in Macquarie University.
Two years, four semesters, done. Wow. Alhamdulillah. Wow.
Going to, entering, and exiting the classes for the last time, time went slower this week, for some reason. At the end of each class I stayed an extra minute or two, just to take it all in for the last time.
Learnt so much on campus. Struggled a lot. Sometimes eager to learn. Sometimes just plain sleepy. But always struggling.
With myself more than anything else, really. My thoughts. My half-cooked and never-executed ideas. My consequential self-loathing. My tendency to lean back and let the world happen in front of me, choosing to just take it all in, and probably, just probably, learn something. My lies I tell myself.
I've definitely changed here. People rarely stay the same in the course of two years, if I may be so bold to claim. At least people who go to university. In another country.
I'd like to think my eyes have been opened more since the start of my stay here. I'd also like to think that I've become a much more tolerant person. Also, a person who appreciates the process of knowledge-seeking more. But who am I to be so audacious to claim such things?
Now, I can't get my mind off anything other than how things are going to be like when I return to Malaysia. The Maktab in particular. I've accustomed myself with this certain way of life that I'm very confident wouldn't fly very straight back at the Maktab. I'll so totally need that re-induction (more like rehabilitation, really) week.
But I've always thrived at the Maktab. I don't know what it was about the place, but I grew leaps and bounds as a person during my two and half years there. I know that my lecturers over there had a heavy hand in making that happen. Maybe that's it.
The same could not be said about the two years I've spent here. I have changed, definitely. But have I grown? I'd like to say yes, but I just can't say.
I'll be off to travel tomorrow. I still have an exam to take care of. I still have loads of stuff to pack. I still have one last video to make, here. Or maybe two. We'll see.
I regret not writing in this blog more often. Might have helped me. God knows I needed it. Oh well, what's done is done.
May peace be upon you.