Writing and Brick Laying

So yesterday I had a bit of a conversation with a friend and we talked about writing and stuff. This friend has a short story published in a FIXI book as well as a few other short stories floating around the internet. On top of that, he has written and shot a couple of short films. Additionally, he writes and performs some poetry every now and then. He wouldn't identify as a writer writer, but he writes from time to time.

We talked about writing and how he wrote was that he needed a story first, before he can write. He has to already have an ending in mind in order to start and finish writing something. The downside to that, he told me, was that it takes months and months before he gets an idea of something to write about, so he'll usually spend months just not writing anything because he's waiting for something to write about.

I introduced the analogy of a house. He needs the already finished house in his head first, before he can start laying down bricks. And when he finally does, he tries to build the house as closely as he can to the vision of the house that was already in his head. And I think that that's a good way to write. Already have a finished story in your head, and type out whatever words that most closely resembles what is in your mind.

Thing is, I think that that's how I should write as well. I think that I need a vision of a finished house to pop up in my mind before I can lay bricks if that house is going to be any good. Tapi masalahnya is that I've been waiting years and years for that vision of a house to come, but it has never come, so I shouldn't start writing yet. But on the other hand, I feel like if I don't write at all, then absolutely nothing can be achieved. Waiting won't do me any good. And by the time the vision of the house finally does come to my mind, I haven't laid bricks for so long that I'll be rusty by the time I do start the process.

So what I do is that I try to lay the first brick first. But then the thing about me is that once I lay down the first brick, I scrutinise that brick so intensely that I end up throwing it away. In writing terms, I write the first hundred words, and allow myself to attack that hundred words until I believe it sucks and is not worth building with and end up deleting that word file entirely. Which doesn't help getting anything done either.

My friend asked me why I even bother laying bricks in the first place, and my answer was that it was because of my desire to be a writer. I want to be a writer so bad that I do it anyway, even though I suck at it every step of the way. Writing is something that I want to do consistently, and well, at the same time if possible. And he nodded in understanding.

Here's to brick laying.